China's five 5,000-year-old "living fossil legends" are throwing a party in Shaanxi! They’ve witnessed the rise of Rome, side-eyed Newton's apple moment, and now they're becoming internet celebrities!
黄帝手植柏：初代文明博主（世界柏树之父），身高相当于6层楼！这位时尚先锋的种子还搭过神舟飞船去太空旅行（2016年神舟十一号认证）。
Yellow Emperor's Hand-Planted Cypress: The OG civilization influencer (Father of World Cypresses). Stands tall as a 6-story building! This trendsetter even sent its seeds to space via Shenzhou-11 in 2016.
保生柏：健康锦鲤本鲤，在线接单5000年祈愿服务。
Baosheng Cypress: The ultimate wellness icon, granting health wishes for 5 millennia.
仓颉手植柏：树下绕圈可自动兑换微信步数，扫码领取千年祝福套餐。
Cangjie's Hand-Planted Cypress: Walk circles around it to earn WeChat steps—scan for a 5000-year blessing package!
老君柏：唐朝发福疑云——被怀疑偷吃杨贵妃的荔枝外卖
Laojun Cypress: The Yoga master of trees (still bendy at 5K!). Suddenly "gained weight" in the Tang Dynasty—suspected to have snuck Yang Guifei's lychee delivery (1,500-year delay—yikes!).
页山古柏：23米高的秦岭树王，自带认亲系统。当地宝宝出生都会来认"树爸爸”，求个千年同款结实身板。
Yeshan Giant Cypress: The 23m-tall "King of Qinling."Locals bring newborns here to claim it as their“tree dad,”hoping for a sturdy, long-lasting life.
你阅读这三分钟=它们生命中的0.0000003%秒。保护这群会发"朋友圈"的酷老头，说不定能蹭到长生buff哦！
PS: Your 3-minute read = 0.0000003% of their lifespan.Protect these cool old-timers—they might just share the secret to immortality!
本报记者 石喻涵 程霜
